How to Stop Technology From Controlling Your Life

Like most of you, the first thing I used to do in the morning was to check my phone and the last thing I did at night was to check it again.

It was an addiction, an obsession, and a gratification. Most of the time I didn’t even know what or why I was using it… it was just to use it.

In our todays world, we’re constantly surrounded by technology. With all the advantages that come from technology, there are also negative consequences. For every tool it provides to build your business, create content, and connect with customers, technology also provides an opportunity to get distracted or overwhelmed.

We can’t let technology control us. We have to take control over our technology.

We often find ourselves in this neverending cycle and story. Our technology has slowly crept into our lives like a snake getting under our skin. It’s a temptation that has been hard to shake.

As a result, our energy and motivation have suffered. Researchers from Queensland University of Technology have called this “technoference” — that excessive phone use has led people to have trouble sleeping while also making them less productive.

As with any part of our life, we can aim for awareness and clarity in choosing how to live with modern technology—in other words, we can be mindful. Mindfulness means aiming to live life more often in real time, as it is, with emotional openness, mental clarity, and resolve. Its practice reinforces traits that make managing life easier.

In spite of how it often feels, at its best technology aims for a similar end. Used wisely, it can make life simpler and easier to manage. So here are some ways to cultivate awareness and clarity through technology:

Be proactive about notifications

The buzz of a new alert can be incredibly distracting and lead you down a rabbit hole of scrolling your phone. By removing notifications, I no longer feel the urge to check my phone constantly. Those messages and emails are still there when I check my phone on my schedule.

Instead of remaining on autopilot and letting technology happen to you, approach it with awareness and openness to change. In the end, technology based products are meant to grab our attention and hold it whether or not that’s in our best interest. It can provide organization, efficiency, and entertainment, but it can also distract, disorganize, and disorient. Pause, check in with yourself, and then resolve both to keep technology in its place and to make skillful use of it throughout your life.

Start Small

While some people love to brag about their digital hiatuses, these may seem intimidating (if not straight-up impossible) for you to take, says David Greenfield, founder of The Center for Internet and Technology Addiction in West Hartford, Connecticut. So it’s totally okay to start small.

Greenfield suggests starting by turning your phone off during dinner. Then, leave it at home when you take a walk. Bump that digital detox up to three hours, and you’re doing great. “You should set limits regularly, but I’d be happy with three hours for some people, as some people won’t even eat a meal without their phones,” Greenfield says. “Any change in the right direction is better than no change.”

Practice gratitude

In the classic novel White Noise an ill-defined crisis lurks in the background undermining everyone’s well-being, a feeling similar to what many people experience in our media-driven world. To counter that trend, the app Happier promotes a daily gratitude practice, which research shows increases happiness. And websites such as PositiveNews, and Fulfillment Daily focus on better (but no less real) news as a way to sustain some mental balance.

Check-in on your tech use

There are apps that tell you how many times you’ve checked your phone that day, that warn you if you’re going over your self-imposed Internet limit, that lock your phone for a specified amount of time, and block distractions like games, Monroe says.

Unplug before going to bed

An hour before you go to sleep, power down all tech devices. “The blue wavelength light from our screens interrupts production of melatonin—known as the darkness hormone—which gives our brain the signal that it’s time to sleep,” Monroe says. “Leave the devices in another room so you’re not tempted.”

Plan Breaks

Write down times throughout the day when you plan to take technology breaks, says Craig Donovan, Director of the BA/MPA Honors Program at Keane University in New Jersey. For example, you could commit to taking a break from 3 to 3:15 p.m. on workday afternoons, during which time you turn off your phone and put it out of sight and out of reach. “Plan a specific activity to do during those 15 minutes, such as getting up and going for a [mindful] walk,” Donovan says. You can reward yourself with a small treat such as a cookie or a cup of coffee. Try to add additional times away from technology, such as during meals, and pay attention to what is going on around you.